Smile Please!

If you're feeling down, reflect on these humorous quotes!

God...

"If I were Her, what would really piss me off the worst is that they cannot even get My gender right..."

Roseanne Arnold 1953-

Love...

If love is the answer, could you rephase the question?

Lily Tomlin 1939-

Debts...

One must have some sort of occupation nowadays. If I hadn't had my debts I shouldn't have anything to think about.

Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900

Housework...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again!

Joan Rivers 1933-

Ignorance...

Reports that say that someting hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns- the ones we don't know we don't know.

Donald Rumsfeld 1932- (this statement won the Plain English Campaign's Foot in Mouth Award!)

The Mind...

Insainty is hereditary. You can get it from our children!

Sam Levenson 1911-1980 in Y
ou Can Say That Again Sam! (1975)

Morality...

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty!

George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950 (Caesar & Cleopatra, 1901)


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